Who am I as a Communicator?? 

My evaluation scores were very similar to the scores that my husband and sister had made about me.  I thought it was funny that I had always matched with one other person in each category.  Then the other person was only different by a few points.  

For example my sister and I both rated me as low in communication anxiety.  We were only 2 points from each other!  On the other hand, my husband and I scored me as people oriented in the listening category. We were 4 points off from each other!  

I kind of expected us to be around the same scores because these two people are closest to me.  They know how I think and communicate with people.  

I was very surprised the descriptions of the score levels were very accurate.  I agreed with each of the descriptions.  I guess I am kind of skeptical about the scores on evaluations.  At times, I have seen the level descriptions be completely off from the personalities of the people being evaluated.  

I learned that there are still many areas in which I can improve to become a better communicator. Also, although some categories may appear to have a negative connotation, there can be positive that comes from it.   Having an aggressive personality can be beneficial in some situations.  It just depends on the situation and the audience.  

Cultural Diversity

Different groups tend to make you communicate differently. For me it depends on two factors:

• If I know the person I am communicating with
• How I know the person I am communicating with 

There are many differences in the way I communicate with my church family versus my coworkers.

Church family 

• greet with a hug and sometimes kiss 
• talk about personal experiences 
• meet outside of church 
• have meals during special events 
• introduce to family that live out of town 
• know children and are invited to birthday
• answer older people as ma'am and sir

Coworkers 

• greet by saying good morning or hello 
• build agendas and itineraries 
• talk about limited personal experiences 
• sometimes go to lunch 
• show pictures of some family
• occasionally invite children to personal events 

Over the past couple of weeks I have learned to:

1. Listening with intent  -   Knowing how to listen is essential when communicating.  
2. Acknowledging differences like age, ethnicity, and culture.
3. Be respectful of the differences once realizing what they are 

Observing Communication Through Television

I watched a show called The Good Wife without any sound to see how to character’s body language matched in regards to their emotions.  I have never watched the show, but heard that it was very good.  It was based upon South Carolina governor’s marital affair. 

Watching the show without sound….. 

Based upon the scene, I could see that the female character was uncomfortable at the beginning of the show. The show started with what looked like a couple holding hands and the man said something to the reporters and the wife was imagining the man naked with someone else.  The woman looked as if she was in shock, hurt, and ashamed, but continued to move where the man was going hand in hand.  They walked in some back hall and she completely stopped. The man turned around and said something.  The woman slapped the man across the face, then walked towards a crowd of reporters.  She was still in shock, but looked as if she was walking more confident.  The scene went to 6 months later and she was in a conference room.  Her facial expression looked as if the meeting was late, and someone walked into the room.  She immediately picked up her things and ran to another part of the building.  The meeting was being held in another part of the building.  She eased in the back of the room, and started to look around.  She looked as if she was embarrassed.  The presenter closed the meeting a few minutes after she had gotten there. 

During another scene she went into another woman’s office where there was a dog.  She was handed a box of papers and had a short conversation with her.  The first female’s face looked as if she was trying to retain information.  She appeared to be mentally preparing herself for work or an assignment.  After the discussion, she walked down a hall and spoke to a number of other people.  When speaking to the other people, her body language and expressions changed to be more business casual.  She laughed as if she was discussing something funny or interesting.   

Watching the show with sound….. 

The main character’s husband was explaining what happened and why he was resigning.  Her body language and the emotions showed that she was distraught.  She was trying to self monitor herself.  O’hair, Weimann, and Mullin (2015) describe this as watching others around you to see how you should behave.  She was masking her feelings and trying to look as if she was supportive and understanding. I was correct when I assumed that she was in shock, hurt and ashamed during the conference.  Her husband was cheating on her.  Based upon the first part of the show, it seemed as if she would not be able to handle the press and information overload she was receiving.  I believe I was wrong when I said that she was walking with more confidence.  It appeared as if she was still with him after the 6 months had gone by.  One could see that she was still affected by the scene, but it would not destroy the main character.  

The main character (Alisha) was a lawyer and waiting for the staff meeting to start.  After finding out that she was late, she was assigned the cases that didn’t have any significant value to the firm.  She was given multiple tasks to do by another co-work who kept her dog in her office.  This woman gave Alisha a client that would have to represent later that day. This caused Alisha to be very unsure of her ability to assist the client.  Alisha’s insecurities didn’t show as she spoke to the other employees while walking down the hall.  I was also wrong with the assumption that she was comfortable with her other co-workers. She wasn’t and the smile was a smirk, because they were playing and commenting on the video of her husband’s speech while she held his hand.

After watching half of the video, I realized I was able to identify a portion of what the character was trying to portray.  My assumptions were about half correct.  If I knew more about the show, I would be able to identify more communication skills. It would know the significance of following Alisha.     

Reference:  

   

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Competent vs. Controversial Communication

I believe this advertisement is both competent and controversial.  The celebrity above is Colin Kaerpernick, a former professional football player. He was the first to take a knee during the national anthem to acknowledge the racism within some police departments.  The movement was rapid across the nation.  It caused an uproar, even within the capital.  Many people argued that it was disrespectful to veterans and those in service.  Others argued that it had nothing to do with those people in the service, and that the argument took away from the point of recognizing senseless deaths of innocent black men by police officers.  His actions were very effective, and I admire his courage.  I would model my communications after what he did.  His actions were impactful, nonviolent, and noticeable.  It reminded me of Dr. Martin L. King, Rosa Parks, and many other activist.  Their legacies still live, and I believe Kaerpernick's legacy will too.

The Personal side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppressions

When working with children and families from diverse backgrounds, I always hope that I will have a positive impact on them.  I want to be a helpful resource to those who want my help.  I would like to treat people with respect and fairness.   We all have our differences, but that should not stop us from helping others.  I would like to encourage and educate children about the diverse backgrounds, especially the diversity within our classroom.  It is important that they know, understand, and respect differences.  I thought about hoping to be knowledgable fo the different family cultures that families would have.  Unfortunately, culture is constantly evolving and changing.  To study a particular culture would be enlightening, but also could be misleading.  The stereotypical information about blacks would help a person at first, but it may also insult the person its directed to help.  

A simple yet complex goal for the EC field is to find a way in which we can teach about and possibly eliminate racism.  Children are taught racist actions.  Why can’t we explain what is appropriate and what is not appropriate?  Why can’t we as educators open up the conversation about race? Explaining why Suzie has pale white skin, and how Edward has dark skin and hair like Suzie would help children to understand how we are all different but equal.  The EC field can have a dynamic impact on racism, but we must first be brave enough to step in.        

I just would like to say how much I appreciate the feedback, advice, and opinions of my colleagues through the Diversity and Equity Class at Walden U.  Our weekly discussions and open conversations have open my eyes to the EC field even more.  I hope that we can still remain connected through future classes and possibly opportunities.  The knowledge, experience, and wisdom that each of you have is priceless.  Thank you all and best wishes to your future endeavors. 

Welcoming Families from Around the World

Hypothetical situation: 

I am working in a hospital and a guest family from Malwa, Punjab (India) is scheduled to come in.  I would prepare for their arrival, but finding out: 

- what language(s) they spoke

- any customs that would be deemed as disrespectful to them

- the reason they are coming 

- if there is a dominant person within the family 

- foods they eat to direct them to restaurants within the area

I would have to found out the languages they speak to see if I would need an interpreter.  It is very hard to feel comfortable with anyone from a hospital when they don't speak your language.  I wouldn't want to offend them, so finding out any details that the staff knows about them including religion, customs, and lifestyle would be beneficial.  I would also need to know the reason for them coming.  There are many reasons why a person would need to visit a hospital, so I would not want to assume.  I would want to find out if there is a dominant person within the family.  I would not want to disregard the decision maker, or disrespect him or her.  Charleston is full of restaurants, if they have dietary restrictions I would want to know.  Having knowledge of the food and area can make a person a little more comfortable, when visiting or looking for somewhere to stay.  

Making people comfortable is a privilege.  I would want to help them as much as I could.  This would be a great way to start.  

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I loved the movie Hidden Figures.  It showed how African Americans were targets of bias, prejudice, and oppression, how African American women contributed to the success of NASA, and how they were not recognized for their contributions. 

At the beginning of the movie Katherine (Taraji Henson), Mary (Janelle Monae) and Dorothy (Octavia Spencer) were having car trouble.  The car was on the side of the road and a white, male police officer pulled over. They were immediately nervous and didn’t want to go to jail.  The officer got out of the car holding his baton, walking as if he knew he had power over them.  Katherine, Mary, and Dorothy kept their heads down until they were spoken to.  Knowing how police officers were allowed to treat African Americans, the women treated him with respect and answered his questions with a yes sir or no sir.  He asked them questions such as

·         Are you getting sassy with me?

·         Where they were going?

They informed him that they worked at NASA.  His response was, “I had no idea they hired”.  Dorothy interjected and said “Women.  They have a few of us working there, sir.”  After finding out what they did and the services they provided for America, he changed his attitude.  He assumed the Russians were watching Americans, and begin asking questions about the staff at NASA.  After seeing the ladies' employment badges, the officer offered to help them and gave them a police escort to NASA so they would not be late.    

In the movie, the women were prejudged by not only the whites, but the black men as well.  It was as if no one could see a black woman being smart enough to be an engineer or mathematician.

Watching the movie for the first time, I became emotional for several reasons.

• Mad - because the way the blacks were treated by whites, I had never heard anyone give any of these women credit for their efforts until this movie  
• Annoyed - because although this was based on a true story, some people still go through these situations even today; especially the police officer.  
• Proud - because a black woman made a difference in the world; the movie shows that we as women are just as or sometimes better than men in different areas
• Happy - this was a person that many young girls and black can look up to  

I am appreciative to the writers and everyone that had a part in the film.  They opened up the doors for people to discuss different bias and prejudices of people.  Although these events all happened in the past, I feel as if we can learn from it.  Acknowledging that our ancestors went through troubling times and may have done some bad things would be the first of many suggestions.  You can't be sorry for what someone else had done, but acknowledging that it was done is a start.   We can all grow by changing our minds and focusing on the future and learning from the past.