Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

I have been told that it is so important to learn from older people, but I have also realized the importance of them learning from my generation as well.  My great-grandmother, an 82 year old African American woman, was raised in a time where racism and segregation were not hidden.  She went through the back doors to buildings, was only permitted to drink from certain fountains, and was not treated with respect.  She had grown up with a white supremacy  mentality and passed it along to her children.

While in college, I would take on the responsibility of taking my great-grandmother grocery shopping to FoodLand.  The entire trip would take anywhere from 3-5 hours for about 20-30 grocery items.  She walked very slow and refused to use a cane.  She was very particular about her quality of food.  Grandma would examine and reexamine packages, dates, and name brands of products.  Last but not least, she would also stop and talk to several employees about the food.  During the grocery excursion, it was imperative that you remain close to her just in case she has you to go and grab and item she forgot. 

After a long voyage through FoodLand, it was finally time to check out.  I loaded all of the groceries onto the belt for the young lady to ring up.  Grandma watched every item to make sure she wasn't getting charged twice.  She looked over in my direction to see the Caucasian bag boy starting to bag the groceries.  She immediately made him stop and said, "Alisha go and bag those groceries.  He shouldn't be doing that for us."

Wide eyed, I looked at my grandmother and said in a very calm voice, "This is his job grandma.  He is supposed to do this for everyone. He gets paid for this."
"Not for us.  Now go and do what I said!" This is when she gave me the grandma "look".       

After the young boy insisted on bagging her groceries, she calmed down about the situation, and allowed him to do it.  I was still livid.  Because I would never want to disrespect my grandmother, the car ride home remained quiet.  I was humiliated, angry, ashamed, and astonished that she would say or think that whites are too good to bag groceries for blacks.  My mother had taught me that being black was beautiful.  Grandma was trying to tell me that being white was better.

 

I wanted to tell my grandmother that we have overcome, but looking at the news, politics, and other forms of media makes me doubt that we have.  Discrimination, prejudice, sexism, racism, are all negatives thoughts that continue to grow over time.  We have the power and education to put an end to the hatred, but everyone has to work together.  I guess that is the problem.  The thought of working together is intimidating. ...

FYI..... absolutely none of these pictures are me and grandma :)