Saying Goodbye to a Great Team

I can still remember my emotional struggle when I left my previous job.  I truly loved the Career Services Team at my previous job.  We loved, fought, and communicated like a family.  We were connected and often prayed together.  I felt as if I was leaving family, but I knew that I needed a change.  I decided to pursue other career opportunities because of the financial situation of the company and the need to advance within my career.  

We ranked highest in the company for career placement and worked very hard to get there.       We had established roles which allowed us to work and communicate with students within certain fields.  This allowed us to work as a team, but knew our responsibilities and goals within the team.  

We had going away parties as each person left.  I was the second to leave, but everything remained the same.  Parties and a photo album with all of us.  It was a bitter-sweet goodbye, but we still contact each other occasionally.  

I believe that it won't be difficult to adjourn from the group of my colleagues completing a master's degree.  I have a hard time building relationships with people that I don't speak to or socialize with. Although I have seen pictures of my fellow colleagues, I have not formed true relationships.  We will continue to be colleagues and work together on the projects we have.  

Resolving Conflict

Scenario:  

I work with multiple people of all ages and different cultural beliefs.  There is a communication barrier that has caused a great deal of conflict within the department.  We are now going through a program review based upon the results of many surveys.  Because we know the main reason behind the conflict is communication, I need to show people how to communicate effectively.  Therefore I have thought of 2 different strategic plans that could help with decreasing conflict.  

Strategy 1: 

3S Skills (Third Side Skills) https://thirdside.williamury.com/category/tools/3s-skills/

Seeing, listening, and speaking from the third side allows for everyone to look at the problem without any bias opinions, emotions, or any connections.  

• Seeing the situation and not being apart of the situation allows everyone to see both sides.  The website refers to everyone looking at the conflict from a balcony seat, as if you are watching a play (https://thirdside.williamury.com/category/tools/3s-skills/ ) 
• Listening with intent to resolve the problem is very important. There are many ways to listen, but we have to learn to listen without having a bias attitude or trying to find an argument point.  
• Speaking is a very important part of communication but so is remaining silent.  Silence is allowing everyone to give their point of view and communicate.  Using the right verbiage to ask questions can be one of the very few times to speak.   

Strategy 2: 

3R's (Respect, Response Relationship) 

No matter what the age, it is very important that we use the 3R strategy to communicate with people.  

• Respecting a person should be a way of life for anyone.  Treating people the way that you want to be treated will eliminate confusion, possible interruptions, and hopefully some rudeness.  This is a way of people on equal ground... no matter what their age, sex, or any other categories.  
• Response - knowing the people you are having a conflict with makes a difference and is apart of your response.  The responses you have to questions, concerns, or comments determines if you are approachable.  In my scenario, the people involved don't feel as if leadership is approachable.  This perception has been formed based upon previous responses to questions or concerns.  So teaching leadership how to respond to situations can help 
• Relationship building can decrease future conflict.  A relationship can link two or more people together.  It builds trust and shows that each person is able to communicate. Encouraging team building can help my coworkers to one day be able to communicate effectively

I left out plenty of details regarding the conflict due to confidentiality, but overall using the 2 strategies or a combination of the strategies will help my coworkers to understand and work effectively as a team.   

  

Who am I as a Communicator?? 

My evaluation scores were very similar to the scores that my husband and sister had made about me.  I thought it was funny that I had always matched with one other person in each category.  Then the other person was only different by a few points.  

For example my sister and I both rated me as low in communication anxiety.  We were only 2 points from each other!  On the other hand, my husband and I scored me as people oriented in the listening category. We were 4 points off from each other!  

I kind of expected us to be around the same scores because these two people are closest to me.  They know how I think and communicate with people.  

I was very surprised the descriptions of the score levels were very accurate.  I agreed with each of the descriptions.  I guess I am kind of skeptical about the scores on evaluations.  At times, I have seen the level descriptions be completely off from the personalities of the people being evaluated.  

I learned that there are still many areas in which I can improve to become a better communicator. Also, although some categories may appear to have a negative connotation, there can be positive that comes from it.   Having an aggressive personality can be beneficial in some situations.  It just depends on the situation and the audience.  

Cultural Diversity

Different groups tend to make you communicate differently. For me it depends on two factors:

• If I know the person I am communicating with
• How I know the person I am communicating with 

There are many differences in the way I communicate with my church family versus my coworkers.

Church family 

• greet with a hug and sometimes kiss 
• talk about personal experiences 
• meet outside of church 
• have meals during special events 
• introduce to family that live out of town 
• know children and are invited to birthday
• answer older people as ma'am and sir

Coworkers 

• greet by saying good morning or hello 
• build agendas and itineraries 
• talk about limited personal experiences 
• sometimes go to lunch 
• show pictures of some family
• occasionally invite children to personal events 

Over the past couple of weeks I have learned to:

1. Listening with intent  -   Knowing how to listen is essential when communicating.  
2. Acknowledging differences like age, ethnicity, and culture.
3. Be respectful of the differences once realizing what they are 

Observing Communication Through Television

I watched a show called The Good Wife without any sound to see how to character’s body language matched in regards to their emotions.  I have never watched the show, but heard that it was very good.  It was based upon South Carolina governor’s marital affair. 

Watching the show without sound….. 

Based upon the scene, I could see that the female character was uncomfortable at the beginning of the show. The show started with what looked like a couple holding hands and the man said something to the reporters and the wife was imagining the man naked with someone else.  The woman looked as if she was in shock, hurt, and ashamed, but continued to move where the man was going hand in hand.  They walked in some back hall and she completely stopped. The man turned around and said something.  The woman slapped the man across the face, then walked towards a crowd of reporters.  She was still in shock, but looked as if she was walking more confident.  The scene went to 6 months later and she was in a conference room.  Her facial expression looked as if the meeting was late, and someone walked into the room.  She immediately picked up her things and ran to another part of the building.  The meeting was being held in another part of the building.  She eased in the back of the room, and started to look around.  She looked as if she was embarrassed.  The presenter closed the meeting a few minutes after she had gotten there. 

During another scene she went into another woman’s office where there was a dog.  She was handed a box of papers and had a short conversation with her.  The first female’s face looked as if she was trying to retain information.  She appeared to be mentally preparing herself for work or an assignment.  After the discussion, she walked down a hall and spoke to a number of other people.  When speaking to the other people, her body language and expressions changed to be more business casual.  She laughed as if she was discussing something funny or interesting.   

Watching the show with sound….. 

The main character’s husband was explaining what happened and why he was resigning.  Her body language and the emotions showed that she was distraught.  She was trying to self monitor herself.  O’hair, Weimann, and Mullin (2015) describe this as watching others around you to see how you should behave.  She was masking her feelings and trying to look as if she was supportive and understanding. I was correct when I assumed that she was in shock, hurt and ashamed during the conference.  Her husband was cheating on her.  Based upon the first part of the show, it seemed as if she would not be able to handle the press and information overload she was receiving.  I believe I was wrong when I said that she was walking with more confidence.  It appeared as if she was still with him after the 6 months had gone by.  One could see that she was still affected by the scene, but it would not destroy the main character.  

The main character (Alisha) was a lawyer and waiting for the staff meeting to start.  After finding out that she was late, she was assigned the cases that didn’t have any significant value to the firm.  She was given multiple tasks to do by another co-work who kept her dog in her office.  This woman gave Alisha a client that would have to represent later that day. This caused Alisha to be very unsure of her ability to assist the client.  Alisha’s insecurities didn’t show as she spoke to the other employees while walking down the hall.  I was also wrong with the assumption that she was comfortable with her other co-workers. She wasn’t and the smile was a smirk, because they were playing and commenting on the video of her husband’s speech while she held his hand.

After watching half of the video, I realized I was able to identify a portion of what the character was trying to portray.  My assumptions were about half correct.  If I knew more about the show, I would be able to identify more communication skills. It would know the significance of following Alisha.     

Reference:  

   

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Competent vs. Controversial Communication

I believe this advertisement is both competent and controversial.  The celebrity above is Colin Kaerpernick, a former professional football player. He was the first to take a knee during the national anthem to acknowledge the racism within some police departments.  The movement was rapid across the nation.  It caused an uproar, even within the capital.  Many people argued that it was disrespectful to veterans and those in service.  Others argued that it had nothing to do with those people in the service, and that the argument took away from the point of recognizing senseless deaths of innocent black men by police officers.  His actions were very effective, and I admire his courage.  I would model my communications after what he did.  His actions were impactful, nonviolent, and noticeable.  It reminded me of Dr. Martin L. King, Rosa Parks, and many other activist.  Their legacies still live, and I believe Kaerpernick's legacy will too.

The Personal side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppressions

When working with children and families from diverse backgrounds, I always hope that I will have a positive impact on them.  I want to be a helpful resource to those who want my help.  I would like to treat people with respect and fairness.   We all have our differences, but that should not stop us from helping others.  I would like to encourage and educate children about the diverse backgrounds, especially the diversity within our classroom.  It is important that they know, understand, and respect differences.  I thought about hoping to be knowledgable fo the different family cultures that families would have.  Unfortunately, culture is constantly evolving and changing.  To study a particular culture would be enlightening, but also could be misleading.  The stereotypical information about blacks would help a person at first, but it may also insult the person its directed to help.  

A simple yet complex goal for the EC field is to find a way in which we can teach about and possibly eliminate racism.  Children are taught racist actions.  Why can’t we explain what is appropriate and what is not appropriate?  Why can’t we as educators open up the conversation about race? Explaining why Suzie has pale white skin, and how Edward has dark skin and hair like Suzie would help children to understand how we are all different but equal.  The EC field can have a dynamic impact on racism, but we must first be brave enough to step in.        

I just would like to say how much I appreciate the feedback, advice, and opinions of my colleagues through the Diversity and Equity Class at Walden U.  Our weekly discussions and open conversations have open my eyes to the EC field even more.  I hope that we can still remain connected through future classes and possibly opportunities.  The knowledge, experience, and wisdom that each of you have is priceless.  Thank you all and best wishes to your future endeavors. 

Welcoming Families from Around the World

Hypothetical situation: 

I am working in a hospital and a guest family from Malwa, Punjab (India) is scheduled to come in.  I would prepare for their arrival, but finding out: 

- what language(s) they spoke

- any customs that would be deemed as disrespectful to them

- the reason they are coming 

- if there is a dominant person within the family 

- foods they eat to direct them to restaurants within the area

I would have to found out the languages they speak to see if I would need an interpreter.  It is very hard to feel comfortable with anyone from a hospital when they don't speak your language.  I wouldn't want to offend them, so finding out any details that the staff knows about them including religion, customs, and lifestyle would be beneficial.  I would also need to know the reason for them coming.  There are many reasons why a person would need to visit a hospital, so I would not want to assume.  I would want to find out if there is a dominant person within the family.  I would not want to disregard the decision maker, or disrespect him or her.  Charleston is full of restaurants, if they have dietary restrictions I would want to know.  Having knowledge of the food and area can make a person a little more comfortable, when visiting or looking for somewhere to stay.  

Making people comfortable is a privilege.  I would want to help them as much as I could.  This would be a great way to start.  

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I loved the movie Hidden Figures.  It showed how African Americans were targets of bias, prejudice, and oppression, how African American women contributed to the success of NASA, and how they were not recognized for their contributions. 

At the beginning of the movie Katherine (Taraji Henson), Mary (Janelle Monae) and Dorothy (Octavia Spencer) were having car trouble.  The car was on the side of the road and a white, male police officer pulled over. They were immediately nervous and didn’t want to go to jail.  The officer got out of the car holding his baton, walking as if he knew he had power over them.  Katherine, Mary, and Dorothy kept their heads down until they were spoken to.  Knowing how police officers were allowed to treat African Americans, the women treated him with respect and answered his questions with a yes sir or no sir.  He asked them questions such as

·         Are you getting sassy with me?

·         Where they were going?

They informed him that they worked at NASA.  His response was, “I had no idea they hired”.  Dorothy interjected and said “Women.  They have a few of us working there, sir.”  After finding out what they did and the services they provided for America, he changed his attitude.  He assumed the Russians were watching Americans, and begin asking questions about the staff at NASA.  After seeing the ladies' employment badges, the officer offered to help them and gave them a police escort to NASA so they would not be late.    

In the movie, the women were prejudged by not only the whites, but the black men as well.  It was as if no one could see a black woman being smart enough to be an engineer or mathematician.

Watching the movie for the first time, I became emotional for several reasons.

• Mad - because the way the blacks were treated by whites, I had never heard anyone give any of these women credit for their efforts until this movie  
• Annoyed - because although this was based on a true story, some people still go through these situations even today; especially the police officer.  
• Proud - because a black woman made a difference in the world; the movie shows that we as women are just as or sometimes better than men in different areas
• Happy - this was a person that many young girls and black can look up to  

I am appreciative to the writers and everyone that had a part in the film.  They opened up the doors for people to discuss different bias and prejudices of people.  Although these events all happened in the past, I feel as if we can learn from it.  Acknowledging that our ancestors went through troubling times and may have done some bad things would be the first of many suggestions.  You can't be sorry for what someone else had done, but acknowledging that it was done is a start.   We can all grow by changing our minds and focusing on the future and learning from the past.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

I have been told that it is so important to learn from older people, but I have also realized the importance of them learning from my generation as well.  My great-grandmother, an 82 year old African American woman, was raised in a time where racism and segregation were not hidden.  She went through the back doors to buildings, was only permitted to drink from certain fountains, and was not treated with respect.  She had grown up with a white supremacy  mentality and passed it along to her children.

While in college, I would take on the responsibility of taking my great-grandmother grocery shopping to FoodLand.  The entire trip would take anywhere from 3-5 hours for about 20-30 grocery items.  She walked very slow and refused to use a cane.  She was very particular about her quality of food.  Grandma would examine and reexamine packages, dates, and name brands of products.  Last but not least, she would also stop and talk to several employees about the food.  During the grocery excursion, it was imperative that you remain close to her just in case she has you to go and grab and item she forgot. 

After a long voyage through FoodLand, it was finally time to check out.  I loaded all of the groceries onto the belt for the young lady to ring up.  Grandma watched every item to make sure she wasn't getting charged twice.  She looked over in my direction to see the Caucasian bag boy starting to bag the groceries.  She immediately made him stop and said, "Alisha go and bag those groceries.  He shouldn't be doing that for us."

Wide eyed, I looked at my grandmother and said in a very calm voice, "This is his job grandma.  He is supposed to do this for everyone. He gets paid for this."
"Not for us.  Now go and do what I said!" This is when she gave me the grandma "look".       

After the young boy insisted on bagging her groceries, she calmed down about the situation, and allowed him to do it.  I was still livid.  Because I would never want to disrespect my grandmother, the car ride home remained quiet.  I was humiliated, angry, ashamed, and astonished that she would say or think that whites are too good to bag groceries for blacks.  My mother had taught me that being black was beautiful.  Grandma was trying to tell me that being white was better.

 

I wanted to tell my grandmother that we have overcome, but looking at the news, politics, and other forms of media makes me doubt that we have.  Discrimination, prejudice, sexism, racism, are all negatives thoughts that continue to grow over time.  We have the power and education to put an end to the hatred, but everyone has to work together.  I guess that is the problem.  The thought of working together is intimidating. ...

FYI..... absolutely none of these pictures are me and grandma :)

What is Culture and Diversity

Asking several people about culture and diversity:
- 2 African American Male (43 and 32)
- 2 African American Females (39, and 52)



these are some of the answers I got:

Culture:
Everything
How you act
How you were raised
Your process of thinking
Where you were from
What you like and dislike
Your values/morals
Your belief system

Diversity:
Your race
Your gender
Your sexual preference
Embracing and respecting another person's background, culture, and their way of thinking


The majority of the answers that I received have been listed in a portion of our reading assignments.  The major omission that I realized (in diversity and culture)  is the role or identity that a person has.  After reading this week's assignment I can see how a role/identity is assigned to a person.  Even throughout my childhood, I can see how I was assigned or assumed roles subconsciously.  It is something that naturally happens.  This is a direct affect of culture and the impact that it has on a person's thought process.

After reading about culture and diversity and hearing other people's definition, I realize how why definition has changed through education.  I have been enlightened by my reading and conversations with other classmates.  This class has changed my outlook on a variety of topics involved within culture and how to acknowledge and respect others.

Thanks Walden

My Family Culture

If I had to choose the three most important things that represented my culture, I would have to definitely choose my bible, our family photo album, and my wedding rings.  The Bible is a book that will always give me encouragement, direction, and wisdom.  My family album would help me to remember the family that was lost or that I had never gotten to meet.  It would also allow me share our family history with my future generations.  My wedding rings is something that represents the unity between me and my husband, and something that represents one of the best days of my life.

I would feel torn and awful if I were to have to loose any of the three items.  They each give me something different.  The bible is a great resource and helps me to make wise decisions.  The album would give me physical proof of great memories and loved ones.  The rings represent a portion of who and what I am.  I would really have a hard time trying to decipher between which item would be most important.

I was looking through my house to figure out what I would take if this scenario would ever come true.  It was hard for me to make a decision.  I appreciate and love my home and family.  Deciding on what is most important is extremely difficult.  I have learned that I am not a materialist person through this exercise.  Although I would be deeply saddened, I love my family more than the material things.  Bad things happen, but the healing process is what determines what type of person you truly are.    

When I think of Research.....

 Going into this research class, I was originally in a panic.  The first assignment was to choose a research topic.  I was like OMG!! How in the world was I going to complete this magnitude of research in 8 weeks and keep my sanity?  I was in a panic, but it turned out that we were doing a simulation! (Thank God!!)   

I decided to focus on Montessori preschool versus traditional preschool for my simulation.  I had asked many educators and parents the differences, but most of them thought the quality of education was the same.  I could not find anyone that was opposed to either option.  So, I wanted to see if there was a significant difference between the two styles of teaching.  Which style was more effective when the students took their kindergarten entrance exams?  Which child developed more cognitively and psychologically?   I felt as if this information would be important and impactful to the field of education.  Educators and parents need to know which style is more effective.  Why the style is more effective?  Lastly, when can you really begin to see the results? 

The results would be beneficial to educators, parents, and students.  The results would impact children the most.  They have no control over where and how they get their education.  This would also give parents another opportunity to build upon a great foundation for their child’s education.  I believe that knowledge is power.  We just have to gain knowledge then exercise our power.

 That is also why I am happy that I gained so much knowledge through my research class.  I didn’t allow the fear of the unknown to ruin my experience.  Working in an educational hospital, I am around research very frequently.  I now have a deeper understanding of the terminology and regulations for each trial.  I have also spoken to several physicians that have taken very similar classes.  I have grown to respect and appreciate research and the time it takes to make it valid.  Although, my perception of the field of early childhood education has not changed, research is now something I respect and could possibly enjoy.     

Research Around the World

I decided to look into the Early Childhood Australia (ECA) website.  It seemed to be interesting, especially since I have reached out to a few educators there.  The website is very interesting and informative regarding the issues and resources for Australia.  ECA offers great resources (for a price).  They have a Research in Practice Series that highlights the research topics through the journal.  Some of their research topics include:

•  Helping children with difficult things 
• STEM
• Building supportive relationship
• Connecting with babies
• Creativity of young children.    
• Gifted and talented: Inclusion and exclusion

I would have liked to read a little further into the subjects, but you have to pay for the journal to gain access.  Fortunately, I was able to see the parent resources section that spoke about separation anxiety, sleeping, children’s health and nutrition, and transitions to school.  The site lets parents know that separation anxiety is normal and short lived.  Most children, 6 months and older, show signs including crying, tantrums, clinginess, but this is different from child to child.  Childhood obesity also seems to be an issue in Australia.  They have a variety of information regarding physical activity and nutrition on the site. 

Some interesting facts I found while snooping around….

• At 2-3 years, 41% of young children still wake up 1-2 times per night (sometimes more)
• Night walking aka Sleep Walking can start as early as 6 months to 4 years old and is common.  If is persist after 7 or eight, a physician may need to be consulted
• It’s recommended for a child to have their bed in their parents’ rooms until about 12 months. 

 ECA also offers a leadership program for teachers, experienced directors, consultants, and aspiring leaders.  The program will give you a certificate upon completion.  It’s an online program that gives a person access to professional development materials and other professionals within the field.  

Resources 

Early Childhood Australia (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/